A Preemptive Apology for the Calamity, Mischance, and Extinction Event Caused by Our Website Launch

We preemptively regret writing this post and its role in ending life on Earth. 

To clarify, we don’t mean all life on earth will die. There are hearty microbes, swanky niche biomes, and ocean vents a-plenty to which the last, feisty survivors can cling to for life. For most of us, however, life as we know it will probably cease. For that we are deeply, truly sorry.

Our forecast for the cessation of earthly life as we know it, circa 2020, is based on recent experiences. Each time Fabrication Fabrication attempts to launch something new, terrible things happen. Make a button, a belovéd celebrity dies. Launch a new project, populism surges and threatens the foundations of society. Making a sticker? Here’s your locust swarm.

It gave us a lot to think about.

Upon reflection, though, we’ve decided that despite our wretched world we’re launching our website.

For, if you think back on history, is it not beauty that helps humanity survive? In times of upheaval, is it not the very definition of humanity to want a weird monster sticker to scream ¡No Moleste! on your behalf? What else can soothe the itchy thigh of aestheticism other than a scratch from a reflective, food-themed button? And does not the honeyed voice of art emit a plaintive yearning that can only be satisfied by band-related fan art? The answer to these timeless questions can only be…yes.

Let’s also be clear about one thing: whatever butterfly wing we bat in the world is far less likely to cause a hurricane than a butterfly wing ruffled by MobilExxon as it drills for oil.

Therefore, we say…
stock up on tinned goods!
Create a cashless bartering economy with your neighbors!
Top off your potable water supplies!
And secure those boobytraps around your solar panels!

Fabrication Fabrication has a new site today, and the universe is hungry for vengeance.


P.s.: sorry about the bad news tomorrow at work ;__;